With Valentine’s Day looming upon us, I wanted to say this very important thing…
Love. Is. Big.
It might not be showing up on your doorstep this Sunday in the shape of your perfect date, a bunch of roses, poetry or your ultimate Trekkie-sex fantasy come true.
But that doesn’t mean that love isn’t all around you.
I once knew a little girl who had had a rough beginning. She had lived in many homes and had had many ‘families’. She had learnt to trust no-one.
This little girl had no reason to love anyone or to allow anyone to love her. Thus far in her life, love had been a game of dare in which she had always lost and ended up with more scars than before.
Even in a new, safe place. A place where love was ready, with open arms, to wrap her up in its soft embrace and gently heal all her wounds from having her previously open heart battered and bruised. Even then, with endless love ready to flow over her, the little girl had known too many broken promises.
She had decided to say no to love.
This didn’t mean she didn’t want love. It just meant she wasn’t ready for it yet.
But I watched her in her everyday doings. And I watched her find love in so many other little things.
She loved her bracelets. She loved her juice. She loved her toys and favourite TV shows. She loved playing with her sister. She loved the ocean. She loved movies and make-believe.
Slowly, she began to love hugs.
Many years later, she still loves hugs, but now she also loves love.
That now, not-so-little girl, gets giddy with love.
She loves her hopes and dreams, her life, her self, her family and friends. She loves what lies ahead for her.
This little girl gave me a birthday card once and in it she wrote “LOVE IS BIG.” In full caps and all. And as I read that statement, that concept, my heart both broke into a million pieces and also found a million more to add back onto itself.
This is a huge yet simple concept. Love. Is. Big. It blew my mind. She was so spot on.
Love is complex beyond our understanding, yet simpler than 1+1. It is scary, overwhelming, exhilarating and seductive. It is painful and tragic.
Love is both the easiest and hardest thing to do. Sometimes simultaneously. Which makes it also one of the most confusing emotions to experience. Love is a huge responsibility and not one that many people feel lightly.
How does this relate to Valentine’s Day? Well here’s how:
I know there are people who might dread Valentine’s Day, with all its merchandise propaganda being shoved in your face, telling you that you should feel bad if you don’t have somebody to share your love with right now.
But please, don’t be fooled.
Learn from the little girl who couldn’t experience love yet.
Look around at your little things.
Find something to love. And keep finding things to love. Keep saying yes to love.
Love is big and it really is all around you. It just might be taking a slightly different form to the one you had wanted right now.
Maybe you need to make the form yourself? Design your perfect self-love Valentine’s Day submerged with all the foods, movies, books and fresh walks or whatever your heart desires?
Hush your worries. Calm your concerns about the future.
Love will find you.
But perhaps, in the meantime finding things to love about yourself and your life, no matter how small they may be, might help sooth your wounded heart?
I am sending love to you. So that’s your first serving.
Now, go find the rest, and fill your beautiful deserving heart with all the love pieces that surround you.